Last Waltz
by Zyrieen
Summary: DEATHFIC. Rated M for character death and self-harm.
1. Lyrics

Read these lyrics before reading the deathfic. Important background knowledge…mood…whatever.

**Last Waltz**

The Rasmus (Into The Shadows)

Make me blind,

Cover my eyes,

You can do what you want.

I'm paralysed

By the perfect mood

When we're dancing with blindfolds on.

You make it easy

To love you and hate you.

Can't explain it,

I feel insecure.

You say it's simple,

You die just to live again.

You say we're waiting for the last waltz.

Another you and me,

Another revolutionary heavenly romance,

Waiting for the last waltz.

And so it seems,

We won't find the solution.

Confusion leads the dance,

Waiting for the last waltz.

Praise the wine,

So divine,

And it stings like a rose.

Allow the night

To flow inside,

Open the window, let the wind blow.

Highlight of the night

Is the unhappy ending.

You keep refusing

To answer my calls.

Drop the bending

And stop the pretending.

You say get ready for the last waltz.

Another you and me,

Another revolutionary heavenly romance,

Waiting for the last waltz.

And so it seems,

We won't find the solution.

Confusion leads the dance,

Waiting for the last waltz.


	2. Deathfic

WARNING: DEATHFIC, 121 shounen ai

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, its characters, or anything else. I just like it. Please don't sue me!

Many thanks to my beta (and gamma), Ozy-kun! glomp You da best Maybe there won't be so many mistakes next time, ne?

Heero began to laugh as the blood flowed steadily from his arm. It was not the laugh he sometimes shared with…Duo…but his battle laugh, dark and manic with an edge of despair and desperation. He knew he should not be laughing, but it was just so funny, so very funny. He had survived the slums of L1, survived Doctor J's training, survived the war, survived Mariemaia…only to be destroyed by a sentence. A sentence from that braided baka he loved…so much…

_I never want to see you again!_

Heero's laughter faded as he watched the blood flow from his body, eyes captivated by the steady stream of red. A fragment of a song drifted into his fragmenting mind.

_Waiting for the last waltz_

The words made him remember something else. Relena – she was having a party tonight, all the pilots had already accepted her invitation – including HIM. He could have his last waltz.

Moving swiftly now, he grabbed the first aid kit from its place under the sink and pulled out a bandage, wrapping it around his arm to bind the self-inflicted wound tight enough to slow the blood flow but not cut it off. With that done, he threw open the bathroom door and stalked into his bedroom, ripping clothes out of his wardrobe and pulling them on even as he called for a taxi. If he drove in this state, he wouldn't last long enough to have his last waltz.

Duo scanned the room again as he guided the chattering Relena around the dance floor. Ignoring her, a frown slowly slipped into place on his usually cheerful face as his thoughts turned inward. Where was Heero? He hadn't really meant the words, he had thought Heero had just been playing with him. Heero had given his heart to Relena already. And yet…the flicker of sadness in those cobalt eyes before they were shuttered and masked again, the faint hint of pain in his voice for a moment before it was cold, neutral, emotionless as the Perfect Soldier had always been during the war. After the war he had just started to loosen up; joking around, even laughing…

He was pulled out of his reverie as Relena asked him a question.

"What?" he blinked. She glared at him.

"You weren't paying attention," she accused. She was right.

"Sorry, sis," he apologised. "What was the question?" he added, hoping to divert her wrath. She took the bait.

"Do you know if Heero is coming?" Relena repeated. Duo went cold. He wasn't expecting that one.

"I…I don't know," he stammered. "I haven't seen him for a week or so."

"What?" Relena exclaimed. "But you're his best friend! What did you do to him?" she accused, eyes narrowing.

"N-nothing," Duo stumbled, flummoxed. _He_ was Heero's best friend? And why was she blaming him? "We just had a falling out," he added defensively, glaring at her. She continued glaring back.

_I guess I still can't do the patented Heero 'Perfect Soldier' Yuy Glare of Death,_ he thought, and inwardly winced, remembering the pain the last time those eyes had looked at him. He was jolted out of his thoughts again, this time by a person suddenly appearing in the path of his and Relena's dance. He looked up to see those same cobalt eyes he had been remembering, but this time they weren't shuttered and masked. This time they burned with…something, something he couldn't name. He stopped dancing.

"May I cut in?" That neutral voice pierced him, making him remember the last time he heard it like that. The cobalt eyes never left his, trapping him in their depths. And he remembered that Heero loved Relena. He had seen it during the war. He backed away from Relena, holding his hands in the air.

"Sure," he urged, a fixed grin on his face, "go ahead!"

"Thank you," Heero murmured, stepping forward to take Duo's raised hands just as the music finished. Shocked, Duo barely registered Relena quietly moving away towards the tables of food. A waltz was struck up, and he automatically followed as Heero began the steps.

"What are you doing?" he hissed sharply, finding his voice again. This was wrong, Heero loved Relena…didn't he? "People will see us!"

"I don't care," Heero replied calmly, continuing the waltz.

"But…" Duo sputtered. Heero looked at him with that same strange fire in his cobalt eyes, rendering him speechless once again.

"I'm sorry I broke my promise," Heero murmured after a moment, body automatically guiding Duo through the steps of the dance. Duo was amazed he didn't stumble. "I just wanted to see you happy one last time. I'll disappear after I've had this last waltz with you."

Duo suddenly remembered the first waltz they had had together. Duo had been disguised as a girl in order to infiltrate an OZ base and plant bombs during a grand ball. Heero had been his partner for the mission, keeping the officers who may have taken too much interest in him at bay by proving him to be well spoken for. They had danced a waltz before making their escape, triggering the explosions once they were a safe distance away. Heero had smiled – really smiled – at him as he had ranted and mocked the OZ officers. It had been the first time he had ever seen Heero smile.

Duo was brought back into the present by the sound of the ensemble playing the last few notes of the waltz. He found himself dancing closely with Heero and started. He hadn't even realised they had drawn so close together. They came to a stop and Heero abruptly stepped back and bowed cordially. Duo automatically bowed in return, bewilderment showing in his violet eyes. Heero gave him a small, sad smile and turned away, murmuring one last word.

"Goodbye."

And then Duo saw Heero stumble. Just a tiny misstep, swiftly corrected, but Duo was instantly aware of the pallor of Heero's skin. Something was definitely wrong here, it looked like there wasn't enough blood in his body. But that was silly, the war was over, he couldn't be wounded, could he? Duo reached forward and grabbed Heero's arm, determined to find out what was going on.

"Heero, what's –"

His inquiry was abruptly cut off as Heero gave a small gasp of pain, swaying on the spot. Duo's eyes widened and he stepped forward, but Heero stepped away again, white and shaking as he tried to pull his arm from Duo's grip. Duo's fingers reflexively tightened their hold, pressing on the inside of Heero's arm, but he immediately regretted it as Heero cried out and fainted to the floor. Duo was stunned for a moment, then fell to his knees beside the still body.

"Heero!" The name was torn from Duo's lips as he removed Heero's jacket, trying to find what was so wrong. He was dimly aware of the other three pilots arriving, along with Relena, as he pulled back the black sleeve of Heero's shirt…and saw the blood-stained bandage around his forearm. Too much blood. Far too much blood.

And he knew then, too late, what Heero had meant by the last waltz. Not the last waltz of the night. Not his last waltz with Duo. The last waltz of his life. And finally, far too late, he realised that Heero had meant what he said, that night a week ago. He had not loved Relena after all. He had loved him. And now he would never know that Duo loved him back.

"Oh, Heero…" Duo slumped back, watching as Quatre and Trowa tried to revive Heero. And the tears fell for the end of his last waltz.


End file.
